The Wonder Child

Lost wonder children find each other. They discover their own hidden genius , wonder, hurts and sadness’s in the other. In that other, they are home. That self, sought and seen in the other, they worked so hard to make happy. Nothing was to much, nothing impossible.

An incredible joy erupts within, that finally someone has found them. Someone sees the wonder child, how far they’ve come and all they have achieved. Finally someone can acknowledge their ache and how difficult it has been, how long they have had to wait…for that someone, that rare someone who could recognise the other within themselves and in that moment a cacophony of stars explode and a symphony plays. They are both loved in finding the other and both are home.

Only in that other could be known or recognised, the loneliness and longing of the years seeking to be found. To be enough, to be deserving of all we’ve asked and dreamed of. Of all we’ve strived to be, often driven by the hurt, hurt of not been recognised, of our own genius and perfection, invisible to those who could not see. Invisible to those we wanted to see. I am enough, I am a lot. See me, See me. I am lost, No one can find me.

How is it that we are so incredible and not one in a million knows us. So often accomplished genius’ in all we have done, given to our younger selves all we have dreamed of, yet still unfound. That one thing so wanted, someone to find us and in that moment see, all we have endured, travelled, achieved. We are here, I am here, See me, See us. So attuned to hiding and people who couldn’t see, we choose to work harder and be more, be enough until they see. And oh how we invite those people in who cannot see, even marry them and still they cannot see, for they have their own, sadness’s for which we cannot see. We recreate our wounds until we come full circle, only to recognise ourselves where we began.

The lost child needs wants just one person, someone who understands them. In this they are unlocked. Power, energy, happiness, joy, creativity is released. They are Home…..in themselves, and in the other.

The lost child is lost in a world that is lost. Perhaps in the end (s)he is the only one who is not lost, perhaps the only one, who can see clearly.

Sadness, deep, deep sadness is often this child yet they hide it and themselves well, their achievements and their quiet silence.

The lost child seeks in that other, themselves. Unable or unwilling to accept their own genius and most probably many achievements, they seek that other who reflects all the attributes they value and hold highest.

The lost child does not trust easily.. When s(he) does s(he) is likely to fall hard.

The truth of the lost child achiever is …. they are shut down to their own selves and needs and see their inner world played out outside of themselves where they have the illusion of control over their inner world. Their exaggerated ‘feeling’ belief about themselves and what they need to do will often create an adult who carries a lot, with high functioning and drive. It is a drive to get away from, disguised as a drive to get to. The illusion of the minds ‘out there’ projection. In fact the mind says ‘out there’, if you fix this, do that it will fix this.

No matter whether the lost child was introverted, quiet or silent the child self is similarly hard wired to seek out ways of being seen, heard or discovered ( quite probably in a ground hog version of what was rewarded, attended to when they were kids).

When they needed soothing or comfort they learned to self soothe and/or deny what they were feeling. Many if not all withdrew into their own worlds of imagination and creativity and developed unknowns to themselves skills of insight, perception and clarity in many things that their conditioned ‘out there’ peers could not see or comprehend.

In every lost child waiting to be found, their is a treasure trove of genius, from musicians, explorers, builders, magicians (literally through energy) writers and calligraphists. Rarely did these skills make it into adulthood perhaps because they were not seen, recognised or nurtured. They have not gone away.

In every adult lost child there is an incredible genius that often remains dormant, hidden, like a so called long forgotten barn find Ferrari. We say oh what a gift to the world for this to have been found and this is before the fireworks and symphonies in the finder and the found which will oft be one and the same.

What the lost child learns is what /i AM, is, not of interest to those around me. I cannot be who and what I am. I must so become something other than this. In this moment perhaps, we evacuated our child hoods and left our own child, our own creative loving child behind where they wait forever with resignation, perhaps confusion and bewilderment but with a patience which would defy all logical understanding, waiting for one day, that day when someone will comeback for them and on that day they will live and music will play and they will be found…by someone who sees them and loves them for that one will know them and all they have suffered and gone through in the wait, the wait for this moment.

In Alice and wonderland, like inverted logic it is clearly seen that when the child, that loving beautiful perfect child is left behind, It is the other half of them that becomes what they are told they needed to be. It is this ‘self’ with the inverted, upside, back to front logic that forges ahead with maybe drive, maybe with determination, maybe with anger, to fix, achieve, arrive at a place of resolution where they can find unity, wholeness, happiness, love and creative expression for their once divided and fractured selves. For like Alice in wonderland when the whole mind of a child is divided or more like fractured its logical left brain mind then sees and lives life from an upside, back to front inside out Out there’ place, forever outside of oneself until two halves can be made whole again.

As a child I loved Grizzly Adams. As an adult I discovered why I believe it was so hugely popular for its message seemed to spell out that place in ourselves that had been lost to the world and to which we sought to regain or get back to in ourselves, sought by our divided mind in external pursuits, struggle, achievement or service to others. Maybe home was a lot closer to us than we or our minds could comprehend.

© Paul Sullivan 2014